


I'm not done

by TheWritingRaccoon158



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hospital, M/M, Plot first, have fun, kinda slow burn, more tags to come, my hand kink, porn second, there it is
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-21
Updated: 2020-03-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:41:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 11,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22834204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheWritingRaccoon158/pseuds/TheWritingRaccoon158
Summary: “You think he’s coming in early?”“Hm?”Lev was only half awake at six in the morning, still daydreaming and wishing for another nap while Sugawara bounced in his chair.“The new boss”, Sugawara explained below his breath. “I’m nervous, you know.”Lev watched his co-worker through heavy eyes, waiting for the shift handover to finish. Lev was a horse’s hair away from snoring when Sugawara stirred beside him, waking Lev up in the motion.“He’s here.”
Relationships: Haiba Lev/Yaku Morisuke, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 25
Kudos: 63





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Two years. I needed two years to begin writing again, and now I'm more than happy (happy?) to dive headfirst into Haikyuu hell once again. And of course I couldn't quite keep my hands off Yaku and Lev - so here, have yet another fic with my dealy beloved volleyball players.  
> I can't promise to update frequently, but I will try to keep myself together.  
> Through the years I haven't written a single word, but I've read all of your comments nonetheless, and that was what always made me believe that someday I would return to AO3 and Haikyuu - so please, if you've got something to tell me, please do! I luv u all ♥(ˆ⌣ˆԅ)  
> (As always, english is not my mother tongue, so please be gentle with me.)  
> (As always 2, my chapters are always kinda short, but that's my way of narrating things.)

„A bit to the left! You’re almost there!”

Lev tiptoed, stretched out his arm, hand and finger even more, up to the point they began to hurt.

“You’re close! Yes, there!”

_Finally!_

The soccer balls’ texture felt leathery under his touch, and with some nudging and shifting he finally got a hold of it. He rolled the ball down, caught it safely and tossed it towards the boy who stood a few meters away.

“Here you go,” Lev said with a smile, half-heartedly patting the boys’ head.

“Thank you,” the boy said, beaming with joy about the lost ball. “You’re awesome!”

“Naw, no problem,” Lev responded with a smirk, straightening himself in a sudden touch of pride. “I’m just tall, that’s all.”

“But you’re... awesome-tall!”, the boy said in loss for correct words, and with another quick bow he ran back towards the other kids waiting for both him and the ball. Lev watched them for a moment, then he brushed off any leftover dust and dirt from leaning against the weird old shack. He didn’t even know why it was there in the first place – it was rusty, rocky, and overgrown with ivy and varieties of grass. The only reason for it to be here at the hospital ground might have been for someone to catch tetanus. Then again, it wasn’t exactly Lev’s cup of tea to wonder about anything like that, at all. He was just a student, a soon-to-be nurse in training, currently assigned to the pediatric ward. He liked it here, much to his prior doubt about working with children all day. Both the regular ward (where the young patients waited for and recovered from surgery) and the day ward (where the children went for their daily therapy session) were in Lev’s field of duty, even though he was still assigned to the more simple tasks, being only in his second year of training. On Mondays and Fridays he was off to school, where he learned the theoretic ropes for his actual work. The more he’d been involved into the actual, serious nursing tasks, the more he disliked the dull school days. Sitting through eight and more hours of listening and taking notes was nothing Lev was accustomed to – and most likely would never be.

“We’ll gonna miss you”, a voice said from afar, and Lev tried to listen in without appearing nosy.

“Come visit us some time, would you?”

“As often as I can.”

Lev frowned. Usually he could accustom to any kind of colleague quickly, being used to hard work and polite friendliness when faced with stressed-out co-workers. He had gotten used to the much too quick rhythm inside the hospital’s walls, to the pressure and expectation from the executives as well as the nagging and buffeting from the workers. He’d gotten used to it, and somehow, he came to like it. He hadn’t exactly been thick-skinned when he began working at the hospital, but he made his way, slowly but steadily learning the ropes, getting better and better at what he did. One day, he was sure, everything would be worth it, in some form or another. 

As said before, he usually maintained a fuss-free relationship with his colleagues and the authorities - but that one currently bidding the others farewell really got on his nerves, sometimes. Lev thought quite often about strangling him with one of the IV’s or suffocating him with a cushion when no one’s watching. But much to his disdain the person in question was the pediatric ward’s head nurse.

_Until now._

Lev couldn’t believe the false kind words coming from the other nurses – as often as he had heard them talking behind his back, he knew that, in fact, absolutely no body liked him, and everyone had been glad when he had announced his retirement. He hated their falseness, and he hated that someone who’d treated them so badly probably thought they would truly miss him.

Lev, however, could neither care less for his departure nor for the factitiousness of his co-workers, so he returned to work without sparing another glance. 


	2. Chapter 2

“He’s just about off the door, and they send us a new one.”

Lev pricked up his ears, currently busy with restocking the ward’s supply wagons. Two older nurses made their way into the breakroom, en passant greeting him with a nod.

“I heard he’s even more strict”, the other nurse said before they both vanished into the room, closing the door behind. Lev was about to wonder whether they had been talking about a new head nurse, when suddenly someone slapped a hand onto his shoulder.

“Sugawara-san!” Lev jerked in surprise, scattering some bandages around the floor.

“I told you there’s no need to be so formal,” the silver-haired man with the boyish smile said. “I’m just two years ahead of you, not twenty.”

Lev collected the scattered bandages and pushed them back into the wagon, knowing they would fall out again as soon as anyone tried to reopen it. 

“Okay, Suga, then”, Lev answered, still hesitant, stretching his long back after standing upright again. “Hey, did you know what they were talking about?”

“Who?”

“The nurses – about some ‘new one’.”

“Oh, yeah.” Sugawara looked around, as if he didn’t want someone to listen to their conversation. “We’re going to get a new chef nurse, but – please keep this to yourself for now – no one really wants someone entirely new.”

Lev nodded, realizing that Sugawara didn’t even wait for him to agree to their secrecy.

“Everyone had expected for Ennoshita-san to be the new chef nurse, so they’re kinda annoyed by the way nobody really had had a say in this. Like, administration just doesn’t care about their – our opinion. As for me, I believe Ennoshita would’ve just be the right choice.”

“I’d say you should be the one in charge,” Lev suggested without even thinking, and Sugawara’s cheeks blushed. “You’re reliable, kind, and the children like you.”

“Stop it,” Sugawara whined, blushing even more. “I’m not suited for a such a position! I-it’s stressful, and there’re so many things to keep in mind, a-and then I might have to give orders and – and besides, the decision had been made, so we can’t change it, anyways.” Sugawara stopped in his ramble, tried to visibly calm himself and let out a deep breath he’d probably held for quite a long time. Lev wondered why Sugawara thought about himself so lowly, and why the perspective of a much more prestigious job made him that nervous. Lev guessed there would be more to it than just the workload, but he wasn’t one to snoop around other’s business. He’d liked to know, though, and maybe Sugawara would share his true intentions some other day.

“C’me on, beanpole,” Sugawara said after a moment of silence, “we’re going to get lunch before someone’s at our asses again.”

Lev nodded, following his co-worker into the break room.


	3. Chapter 3

“Sooo, Lev,” Kuroo said, slouching in his chair as if he was at home, “what’s new at the pediatric front? “Some gossip?”

“Kuroo, stop being nosy,” Kenma murmured from Kuroo’s left side, not lifting his gaze from the handheld console he brought to school.

“I’m not nosy,” Kuroo replied, rocking his chair backwards. “I just wanna know, share and discuss the newest… _developments_.”

“That’s the very definition of being nosy.”

“Nothing, really”, Lev said, rummaging through his notes, searching for the paper with the number two. “Pediatric’s kinda the same every day, but that’s fine with me. Do you know where my second page is?”

“As if I’d care about your notes”, Kuroo said, rocking forward again and flexing his long limbs under the table. Fridays were school days, and this especially long Friday was still not even halfway over. “I’ve heard about the paediatric ward’s change of personnel. The old wanker’d finally left for good?”

“Yeah”, Lev said with a smirk while Kenma scolded Kuroo quietly for his bad mouth. “He’s gone, but… they say the new one’s even worse.”

“How worse can it be?”, Kenma asked, and Lev sometimes wondered how he could possibly listen to their banter so keenly without even really participating in it. “He’d let you work overtime for almost a month because you were late _once_.”

“He’s got a point”, Kuroo said. Lev came back to rifling through his notes, still in search for his missing page number two.

“What about you?”, Lev asked incidentally, trying to direct their talk away from his already nervous feelings towards a new, even more annoying head nurse. “Where’re you right now?”

“Don’t ask him”, Kenma said lowly, and Kuroo showed him a broad grin. He rocketed backwards again, arms crossed behind his head.

“Gynaecology”, he said with a weird kind of proudness, and Kenma frowned. “I’m allowed to touch the lady’s the whole day.”

“You’re disgusting”, Kenma murmured, and Lev curled his lips, thinking about Kuroo ogling their female patients. “I bet there isn’t even a single patient around our age at your ward.”

Lev snickered by the remark while Kuroo shot Kenma a glare.

“It’s all nice and quiet there, and the lady’s love me”, Kuroo closured while Kenma shook his head.

“What about you, Kenma-kun?”, Lev asked, and the smaller boy side-eyed his classmates.

“… palliative care”, he said lowly, and Lev whistled out a faint tune.

“Wow, I couldn’t do that”, Lev remarked, and Kenma shook his shoulders.

“Dunno, it’s kind of cool there”, Kenma said, “Quiet, and the patients like talking to me. It’s not too hard for me to give them a bit of attention.”

“Better than ICU, hm?”, Lev asked, now peeking at Kuroo’s notepad for his missing page.

“By far”, Kenma answered, concentrating onto his handheld game again. Lev let his gaze wander around their classroom. Apart from the three of them there were just a handful of students he knew more than their name from. He’d never been the best at socializing, despite his open-hearted manner. He knew he sometimes came out as quite weird, and sometimes people were a bit too intimidated by his height. He also knew that he wasn’t quite the brightest bulb in the harbour, and that he sometimes had a hard time following their teacher’s train of thoughts. Much to his joy neither Kuroo nor Kenma seemed to care much about his inadequacies; the three of them had been hanging out since their first day of school, and up until their graduation, that probably wouldn’t change. If it would be up to Lev, that friendship would last even beyond. But, and he knew that very well, life’s a bitch and eventually work and a family of their own would split them apart, sooner or later. Lev tried not to linger onto that thought, even though it crept into his mind now and then.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Somehow it's always Kuroo ending up as kinda freakish in my stories - let's say he's got both the looks and the confidence entitling him to be the odd one out |_・)


	4. Chapter 4

“You think he’s coming in early?”

“Hm?”

Lev was only half awake at six on a Wednesday morning, still daydreaming and wishing for another nap while Sugawara bounced in his chair.

“The new boss”, Sugawara explained below his breath. “I’m nervous, you know.”

Lev watched his co-worker through heavy eyes, waiting for the shift handover to finish. Fukunaga, the somewhat creepy guy who worked nothing but the night shift told the early shift about last night’s events – nothing out of the ordinary, as always. Lev was a horse’s hair away from snoring when Sugawara stirred beside him, waking Lev up in the motion.

“He’s here.”

Lev tried to pry his eyes open in favour of watching their new chef. He had awaited someone like the old one: a tad bit older, with a lot of experience, looking friendly but serious.

Never had he thought about what happened next.

A small guy – much smaller than Lev himself – opened the break room’s door, shifted in and waved at the staff in a short motion.

“Sorry for bein’ late”, the small guy said, throwing his bag aside to where the other one’s stood. “Bike had a flat tire on my way here. Yaku Morisuke’s the name.”

Lev tried his best not to frown. Surely that couldn’t be their new chef. While most of the chef’s Lev had had during the last years, Yaku Morisuke wasn’t even remotely like them. Sure, he looked quite attentive, not the slightest bit nervous in front of a whole new body of subordinates and gave the feeling he knew which way the cat jumps – but he was completely missing any kind of boss-ish authority. Hell, he could even be Lev’s classmate.

Lev wondered why Yaku of all people had gotten that position. 


	5. Chapter 5

Lev was quickly proven wrong.

Yaku Morisuke was the best, in the worst kind of way. During his first week he not only optimized their whole shift schedule up to a point where no one had any objective reason to complain, he also managed to wrangle two new pc workplaces as well as a new bed for room eight from the executives. Within a mere seven days everyone on the pediatric ward was in awe of the small guy thoroughly perturbing their old, dusty ward.

Everyone except Lev.

The lanky student had had a hard time ducking away from their new boss, as he seemed _especially_ destined to make earth a living hell for him.

“Is this the way you always did this?”, Yaku snarled, shoving the patient’s record into Lev’s hands.

“I – I –“, Lev began in loss for words, but Yaku wouldn’t let him explain himself even if he’d wanted to.

“Do that again, everything”, he demanded, scowling at Lev, “and this time try not to write like a grade schooler. You might be a student, but that doesn’t mean you can slack off on this.”

Yaku left to where his office was and Lev stood in the hallway, bewilderment tinting his face. He always documented the patient’s vital parameters like he’d been shown, but obviously Yaku had his objections.

“What’s his problem?”, Lev murmured, taking both the record and a pen to the copier to retry.

*

Two weeks later and still Yaku Morisuke was seemingly trying to scold Lev as much as humanly possible.

“You’re not even trying, aren’t you?” Yaku had crossed his arms, raising an eyebrow while watching Lev stretching a sheet onto a freshly disinfected bed. “Where did you even learn to make beds?”

“In school”, Lev murmured. He _tried_ to be loud and confident, but somehow Yaku was able to push and pull all his buttons and switches at once, making him feel like a stupid kid.

“That needs to be tighter, look.”

Yaku patted Lev’s hand away, nudging between the lanky student and the bed. Suddenly Lev felt weird, a bit too hot, his skin a bit too tight. Yaku shoved him away with an angry scowl, and neatly folded the linen around the mattress. Lev noticed the way Yaku's hands worked, and how his slim, deft finger's moved quickly, veins and tendons shifting beneath the skin. Lev gulped down a clump of adrenaline, trying to concentrate onto the linen instead of Yaku's hands. Lev had to admit that Yaku’s result was a lot better – the linen looked like it was made from steel now.

“It’s going to come off to quickly when it’s too slack”, Yaku explained without even looking at Lev, then he turned around to push the cushion into Lev’s hands.

“You get the rest on your own?”, the smaller one asked, looking up. Lev realized not without amusement that Yaku was almost two heads smaller than he himself, and a smug feeling dwelt in his chest.

“Yeah, I think”, he said, and Yaku slithered away. Lev tried not to gaze after him.

*

Lev lingered onto the feeling he’d had when he'd watched Yaku a week prior. He couldn’t quite put a finger on it, but somehow his small chef did something to him. He began observing Yaku on a daily basis, carefully keeping a balance between discrete side glances and obvious staring when no one was watching. There was something very appealing to the small guy, and Lev wondered why he began to like someone so entirely insufferable. They haven’t even been talking like normal human beings once.

One day, when Lev was about to document blood sugar levels from several patients, Yaku came by and snapped the records off his hands.

“Just checking whether you doin’ it right.”

Yaku read Lev’s documentation through clenched eyes, and Lev couldn’t stand it any longer.

“Why’s it always me you’re checking on?”, he nagged, “it’s not like I do mistakes on purpose.”

“But you still do them, nonetheless”, Yaku gave back, and Lev could almost feel him restraining his temper. “You’re a student and therefore under my care. I have to stand up for your mistakes.”

“Then, why don’t you try showing me what’s the right way?”, Lev asked, and Yaku side-eyed him with a nearly visible scowl.

“Maybe I do”, he remarked, and something sounded a bit off. Lev almost felt analysed by Yaku, who shoved the record back into Lev’s hands. “But for now, go on. This’s okay.”

Yaku wandered away, leaving Lev puzzled for the umpteenth time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't really know if I should publish that quickly, but then, I like writing it, so I don't want to keep it for myself - the faster I write, the faster comes the smut ╭( ･ㅂ･)و ̑̑  
> Comment if you like, I would be happy!


	6. Chapter 6

“He’s so annoyiiing”, Lev whined, chin propped upon his desk, crumpling his notes underneath. One week working with the new boss and Lev felt like a first year without any remarkable knowledge at all again. “I feel like I’d just begun working yesterday every time he’s scolding me.”

“Then… just be better?”, Kuroo proposed, eyes fixated onto the braided hair of a girl sitting directly in front of him.

“I am!”, Lev gave back with a pout and watched Kuroo for a while, who flicked tiny shreds of paper into the girls hair.

“What was his name again?”, Kenma queried from Kuroo’s other side and Lev turned his head, now with his ear against the table.

“Yaku”, he said flatly, trying to remember his bosses’ given name. “Mori… Morisuke, I believe, but I’m not sure.”

“I know him”, Kenma said, and Lev yanked his head up so fast that Kuroo flinched, missing his target. “From –“

“From where?”

Kenma shot Lev a scolding glance, and Lev bit his tongue.

“From the ICU”, Kenma said, concentrating back onto his handheld console. “When I worked there, he was something like the second in command. He’s –“

“What’s he-“

Kenma gave Lev another look, and Kuroo snickered. The girl in front of him began to look like a weirdly decorated Christmas tree.

“Couldn’t stand him”, Kenma said after taking a breath, “Was always at everyone’s asses, especially mine. Makes me believe he didn’t like students.”

“That’s because you’re lazy”, Kuroo remarked matter-of-factly. Lev knew, if he’d been the one to call Kenma lazy he’d probably get kicked, but Kuroo only got a scolding glance from Kenma.

“Am not.”

“… you are.”

“I’m not lazy”, Kenma scoffed, “I just don’t like someone bossing me around.”

“Sorry to disappoint you, but bossing around’s mainly a bosses’ job”, Kuroo quit their little bickering, and after that he shot Lev an annoyed look. “What’s up with you? Stop fidgeting.”

Lev hadn’t even realized he’d been nervously shifting in his chair, thinking about Yaku and whatever he did at the Intensive Care Unit to even rile the ever-so-indifferent Kenma up.

“Why’d he shifted to paediatrics?”, Lev wanted to know, and Kuroo cocked an eyebrow.

“Why’re you so curios?”, he asked, flicking another piece of paper, “I thought you dislike the guy.”

“I do!”, Lev answered much too hastily, and Kuroo grinned like the cat that caught the canary. He was about to flick yet another tiny paper ball when suddenly the girl seemed to realize what he’d been doing.

“Kuroo, you jackass!”, she yelled, shaking all the tiny paper bits out of her hair while Kuroo leaned back, bathing in the chaos he’d caused, and Kenma rolled his eyeballs so hard it must’ve hurt.

“Talk about disliking”, Lev murmured beneath his breath while watching the girl furiously attacking Kuroo with all the paper balls she could grab. Kuroo had asked the right question, Lev knew that; what was so enticing about Yaku that Lev couldn’t stop thinking about him? Was it the boss-thing? Did Lev have some kind of authority-related fetish he didn’t know about up until now? Just by thinking about Yaku’s eyes, his small hands, his lithe figure Lev felt a tingling sensation creep into his chest he couldn’t get rid of the following days. Unquestionable certainty about the course of his feelings hit him a week later, when Yaku called in sick for a few days, and Lev was not only surprised but downright disappointed about working without Yaku in his close proximity.


	7. Chapter 7

“But – but what if there’s a scar?”

Lev heard a faint snivelling and a nose being snuffled. He was currently busy with the great white board in front of the nurse’s office, bringing it up to date. The patient’s most important data (like name, birth date, allergies and such) were listed there, as well as their current and upcoming treatments. The staff used a lot of abbreviations and codewords and Lev had had a hard time learning them when he began working at the paediatrics without mixing something up. He’d never seen such an installation at other wards; The staff knew it fell not entirely under the terms of medial confidentiality, but it was useful for communication and letting every nurse know what was in planning for the respective patient.

“Hey”, a soothe voice calmed from out the same direction, and Lev snooped closer, peeking around the corner into room number five to see who was talking. “Hey, it’s okay, I know that feels scary.”

Lev was a bit caught in surprise. Not because of the kid crying; their little Patient from bed six-four was due for surgery tomorrow morning, to remove an unclear neoformation next to his armpit. But, beside the kid’s bed kneeled Yaku, showing the kid a tender, comforting smile.

“I don’t wanna have a scar”, the kid sobbed, looking down, his feet dangling from the bed’s edge. Yaku sighed before sitting next to him, rolling up one of his sleeves. Lev noticed the way his shoulder’s muscles shifted beneath the skin, wondering what it would probably feel like to touch him, shuddering by the mere thought of it.

“See this?”, Yaku said, pointing to something on the front of his shoulder. “I fell from the bike when I was around your age and broke my shoulder. They had to surgically fix it, and for a whole year there was a metal plate under my skin – ugly, isn’t it?”

Lev waited a moment, holding his breath, wondering what the kid might do. Even from afar Lev could faintly outline the ugly scar on Yaku’s shoulder – about the length of his hand, jagged, and a bit elevated. Lev wondered what Yaku was up to, probably scaring the kid altogether with that horrible scar of his. But instead of worrying even more the kid cautiously touched the mark, and Yaku grinned.

“It’s by far not the prettiest, I know”, Yaku told while the kid looked at him, seemingly forgetting his crying for a moment. “But it remembers me of the pain after the surgery and during the healing process, and every time I look at it I feel a bit stronger – because whenever something hurts me, I know I’ve been through much worse already. Plus, it’s not makin’ me ugly, doesn’t it?”

The kid looked at Yaku in loss for words, but a moment later a smile caught his lips. “No, guess not.” 

“See, scars are cool – and you can always hide them, if you really want to.” Yaku showed the kid a grin – so much honest and thoroughly sincere that Lev’s heart leapt against his inner chest. He wasn’t accustomed with Yaku smiling like this, and for a moment he felt much too warm beyond his skin. For a tiny moment he wished himself away, to where he hadn’t seen Yaku being a truly genuine, nice guy, so he wouldn’t feel the way he felt right now. He was so much sunken in thoughts – warm, fuzzy thoughts and brightly painted mental pictures – that he didn’t realize how Yaku sent the boy to sleep, standing up from the bed and walking towards the door. Lev tried to inconspicuously duck away, but Yaku almost ran into him on his way out, stopping just a hand’s width away from Lev. Much to Lev’s amusement Yaku had to look up to realize who he’d almost ran into. The tender expression on his face vanished instantly, and while Lev still wondered whether Yaku knew he’d been eavesdropping the smaller one’s cheeks reddened slightly, answering the question. 

“No one’s gonna believe you anyways”, Yaku said with a stern face, and Lev refrained from talking altogether. Lev wasn’t really the most reticent type of guy, but even he knew he wouldn’t hear the end of it when he would comment the situation. He just looked at Yaku after the smaller one shoved Lev aside with an angry scowl, a bit too harsh for it to be accidentally, wondering why Yaku wouldn’t want others to know about this other, friendlier, more human side. 


	8. Chapter 8

A few days later Lev sat in the cafeteria, picking at his food without any remarkable appetite, looking out the window. It rained heavily, the late October’s ugly weather rushing over the city in a frenzy. Normally Lev ate with both Kuroo and Kenma, the three of them trying to take their lunch break collectively – today, none of them were available, and Lev sat alone, wondering whether he should go shopping for groceries later or just go home, not wanting to get caught in the rain. He almost didn’t see the small figure rounding his table, plopping down the chair on the opposite side.

“Just don’t say anything”, Yaku murmured, silently wolfing down his lunch, and even if Lev would’ve wanted to talk, he just couldn’t. He looked around briefly; nearly half of the cafeteria’s seats were empty - Yaku could have sit anywhere, but apparently, he voluntarily decided to join Lev on his table. The taller one couldn’t quite keep his mimic at bay, and a smirk crawled into his face.

“Why didn’t you –“

“I said, don’t – say anything. Eat.”

Lev smiled into his meal, feeling his appetite return.


	9. Chapter 9

“He’s grumpy, all the time.”

“Grumpy? That’s too nice. Say it as it is – he’s an asshole.”

Lev tried to keep himself from arguing, willing to listen to Matsukawa and Hanamaki, both languidly slouching in their chairs in the ICU’s office. Lev hadn’t really wanted to talk to them, but sometime during his night shift something inside his system seemed to outright overheat, thinking constantly about his small boss and his wide-awake eyes, his delicate hands, his… Lev shook his head, concentrating back onto the ICU’s weird duo.

“He was your boss?”, Lev asked, trying to sound as casually as possible to not give them the wrong impression. Of course, he was obviously searching for any kind of information about Yaku, but the fuck he would confess that aloud.

“Not even that!”, Hanamaki exclaimed, side-eyeing the monitors, “Just the second in command.”

“But he shooed around everyone like he owned the place”, Matsukawa added, and Hanamaki nodded.

“I’ve heard he’s harassing the paediatrics’ now”, Hanamaki said, waggling his eyebrows. “I bet he’s annoying the heck out of you guys.”

“He’s okay, I guess”, Lev said, and Matsukawa frowned. “Can you, uhm, tell me why he even shifted workplaces?”

“Why he –”, Matsukawa began and glanced sideways towards Hanamaki. “Wasn’t exactly his own choice, I’d say.”

Lev stood silent while the two of them shared a knowing glance, probably wondering whether they should share their insight with some student from another ward.

“He’d caused some trouble for all of us”, Matsukawa eventually said, biting his cheek’s inside absently.

“Let’s say, he’s a bit too… _passionate_ about his work”, Hanamaki helped. “Not that he’d gone rogue or something, but, well, you’ve seen him. Wouldn’t want to be the one disagreeing with him.”

“So what exactly did he do?”, Lev asked, but he wouldn’t get an answer when one of the monitors suddenly showed a bright red alarm signal, making Hanamaki and Matsukawa jolt out of their chairs.

“Sorry, gotta work!”, Hanamaki said, grinning at Lev, shoving Matsukawa down the hallway and out of Lev’s view. The tall student huffed out a sigh, wondering if crushing on Yaku was even worth _that_ hassle.


	10. Chapter 10

“Can you help me?”

Lev couldn’t believe what he’d just heard. Sure, it had been hilariously amusing to watch Yaku trying to grab the ball off the rusty old shed, uselessly tiptoeing in front of it. For once Lev felt like the one having the upper hand just because of his bodily height.

Lev tried to pull himself together, watching Yaku stretching towards the ball from afar. He’d been walking towards the nurse’s break room when he saw Yaku outside the window, and for a moment he’d completely forgotten what he was about to do. A moment later Lev saw Yaku puffing out a sigh, breath forming into a visible cloud in the air in front of him due to the frosty early November air. Unfortunately, Lev hadn’t been fast enough to hide when Yaku suddenly swivelled around, probably to check whether he’d been watched. Almost instantly he recognized Lev behind the window, and Lev beelined for the break room to hide from Yaku’s scolding. But instead of human-shaped Thunder and Lightning he got a plea for help.

Yaku was obviously trying to look everywhere except Lev, currently busy with hiding a snooty expression. “Well?”

Lev flinched. “O-of course!” He refrained from talking and followed Yaku to where the shed was, easily grabbing the ball from the rooftop, throwing it back to the playing kids. Yaku, meanwhile, cursed silently beneath his breath.

“You don’t have to thank me”, Lev remarked, a bit smug about his first-time win over Yaku. The smaller one cocked an eyebrow.

“It’s not like I’d do so”, Yaku replied, seemingly getting even more frustrated by the way Lev’s grin didn’t falter. “But… _damn_ , you’re tall.”

“Glad to be of service”, Lev teased, and scowling Yaku stuffed his hands inside his jacket’s pockets.

“Don’t get me wrong”, Yaku said matter-of-factly before turning around, “Being useful for once doesn’t mean you’re off the hook. You still annoy me, jerk.”

Lev wondered whether a superior should talk like this to his subordinates, and even though he wanted to get inside to hide from the freezing air he wanted to give Yaku the chance to get away from him with some leftover dignity. After a few steps towards the building Yaku stopped in his tracks, hesitantly, his inner conflict visible like a red flag.

“But… thanks”, Yaku said lowly, and Lev felt warmth creep into his cheeks and ears despite the cold air, smirking crookedly in loss for a proper response.


	11. Chapter 11

Another week passed, and Yaku progressively hid more inside his office, working his brain off over some kind of important paperwork. Lev tried to concentrate onto work, always glancing left and right in search for Yaku, sometimes even forgetting what he was about to do. He absentmindedly watched Sugawara accepting their daily delivery of consumables from the buff delivery guy. Lev noticed the way their hands and gazes always lingered a bit too long onto each other.

“You wouldn't have to deal with the deliveries if you where in charge”, Lev remarked when both of them packed away the items into the storage room shelves. “Instead of Yaku, I mean. You’d be a good head nurse.”

“No! I want to do it!”, Suga said a bit too loud and a bit too hastily, blushing when he realized his mistake. “I – I mean, I always took care of it, so why the hassle of letting someone taking over?” 

“It’s about the delivery guy, isn’t it?”, Lev concluded with a smug smirk, and Sugawara flinched visibly. Lev knew he was right on point, knowing Sugawara wasn’t normally one to get nervous easily just with assumptions.

“Daichi?”, he asked, waving his hand, “No – of course not, he’s, well, we –“

“It’s okay, Suga-san”, Lev said, still not accustomed to cut out the formalities. “Even if you were a thing, I’d be the last one to bother you.”

Sugawara looked at Lev, pondering.

“Good to know”, he eventually said, stuffing packages of bandages into the shelves. “We are not, by now, we – he, I… don’t know what he might say about it.”

“I think he likes you”, Lev said matter-of-factly, remembering the way the delivery guy – Daichi – always looked at and acted around Sugawara. Lev might not be the brightest bulb in the harbor, but he always followed his instincts. Besides, even he was not entirely oblivious to interpersonal quarrels. Sugawara coughed, as if to quit the topic.

“Besides… do you have someone… you know?” Sugawara’s question came out a bit too forced, and Lev knew he just tried to deflect the attention. 

“Me?” For a moment Lev thought about telling Sugawara the truth, but decided otherwise - for now. It would probably be for the best when nobody knew about his crush for their common superior. “No, not really.”

“You sure?”, Sugawara asked, eyes keen and brows creased in thought, and somehow Lev knew that _he_ knew. But until Sugawara wouldn’t flat-out lay his knowledge on the line Lev wouldn’t admit shit.

“Yeah, sure”, Lev replied, and Sugawara didn’t press the topic further. A while they worked in silence, until eventually only the box with medication remained.

“Can I leave that to you?”, Sugawara asked, nodding towards the box, side-eyeing the clock.

“Sure”, Lev said. When Suga was about to open the storage room’s door, the handle moved. Lev’s heart did a painful leap against his throat when Yaku entered the now much-too-crowded room, eyeing the two co-workers who glanced briefly at each other. Yaku concentrated back onto the shelves, searching for something, while Sugawara slipped out of the room with one last, suggestive look towards Lev. Hell, why did Sugawara even know about his crush? Was Lev’s behaviour that obvious?

The tall nurse-in-training put away the medication from out the box in silence while willing his body to calm down, suddenly being alone in that much-too-small room with Yaku. He eyed the smaller nurse from the side, trying to still his fidgety fingers, suddenly feeling much too uncomfortable beyond his clothing. He wondered how he might look – was his hair okay? How about his face? Any visible skin conditions? Did he smell? Yaku could probably smell him inside this room – he should have showered this morning instead of yesterday –

“Can I?”, Yaku asked, frowning and nudging Lev aside, searching for something just inside the shelf Lev stood in front of. Lev desperately tried his body and breathing to still down when Yaku shoved his lithe body in between Lev and the shelf, rubbing against the taller one’s hip and lower stomach. 

“What’re you looking for?”, Lev asked, trying to sound as cool as possible even though he felt as if something had died on his tongue, feeling the other one’s backside brushing against his pants. If Yaku noticed this rather uncomfortable and weirdly inappropriate bodily contact, he seemed to have no objections, apparently. Somehow Lev felt like Yaku trapped him like this almost on purpose.

“Xylocaine”, Yaku answered, still searching the shelf, waggling his fingers. Lev reached upwards, knowing where the local anaesthetics were located, grabbing the medication and passing it to Yaku. The smaller one snapped the box from Lev’s fingers and turned around, looking upwards and catching Lev’s dizzy gaze.

“Thanks”, Yaku said lowly, without the ever-so-obvious annoyance in his voice, and the look he gave Lev made the taller one shiver in excitement. There was no way Yaku did this by accident; their bodies were still standing way too close for comfort, and inside Yaku’s gaze lingered something Lev couldn’t quite grasp. He knew what he _wanted_ it to be, but there’s no way he would coax himself into truly believing that it was something akin to _lust_ in Yaku’s heavy-eyed gaze. The moment went by as fast as it came, and without another glance Yaku was out the door, leaving Lev alone and cold.

Later that day, when he was at home and alone again, Lev still thought about Yaku’s lingering gaze, his taxing, brown eyes, about his small body touching Lev's hip just shy of his dick, and before he even grasped that thought thoroughly he was already getting off on it, drawing a shuddering orgasm out of his system by the mere thought of Yaku in front of him like this. He imagined him naked, with Lev’s hand pressed against his shoulder blades, moaning obscenities while Lev shoves him against the shelves, and Lev thought about catching Yaku’s lips between his teeth, about kissing him, fucking him, making him scream Lev’s name in a passionate haze… He thought about edging Yaku until the ill-tempered little guy would outright beg for Lev to fucking give him his sweet release –

Lev groaned into his cushion, spilling over his hand and into the sheets, coming as hard as he hadn’t for quite a while. He looked at the mess he’d made, head flopping backwards into the cushion, staring against the ceiling, wondering if pinning for Yaku of all people was a smart thing to do. 


	12. Chapter 12

Lev tried to eat his homecooked meal with as much grace as he could. Yaku sat directly opposite of him at the break room’s large table, making Lev feel like a slob, the taller one every so often slurping while eating his soup. He tried to suppress his nasty habit, and it was hard not to feel at least a bit too conscious of each and every sound within an otherwise quiet room. Yaku spared him no glance, instead he watched the kids play outside, seeming a bit out of this world.

The break room’s door swung open and Sugawara entered, Ennoshita following directly behind.

“Enjoy your meal!”, Sugawara said politely towards the other two while stuffing his own meal into the microwave. “Hey Lev, you’re coming to the Christmas party?”

Lev took a much too quick breath, almost inhaling his soup. “Didn’t know I was invited”, he choked out, trying to look and sound casual in spite of his current state of suffocation.

“Of course you are”, Ennoshita said, sitting right beside him, side-eyeing Yaku. “You’re part of the work force, too.”

“He’s right”, Sugawara remarked, “Don’t try to wiggle out of this. Plus, we’re going to somewhere fancy, so dress properly.”

Lev remembered the colorful notice he’d seen down the hallway – this year the staff had decided to throw some money in and went for a pretty high-toned restaurant – nothing Lev was anticipating in any kind of way – he felt the worst kind of out-of-place whenever he was eating at a place with way too many forks to use. Aside from that, he wondered whether he had even anything besides t-shirts and jeans to wear.

“You comin’, too”, Sugawara said towards Yaku, not even remotely making it sound like a question. Yaku dragged his gaze away from the outside, nodding without looking at Sugawara.

“Thanks for the invitation”, Yaku said, “But I don’t want to make you lot uncomfortable, being the superior ‘n such.”

“As if”, Ennoshita said with a polite smile, “It’d be a good opportunity to get to know each other.”

Lev could almost feel Sugawara side-eyeing him, but Lev could neither move nor breathe. Lev’s heart felt like a rambling, gyrating machine hearing this. He didn’t want to get to know Yaku at their Christmas party, all dressed up nicely and within reach of alcoholics. He already sees himself making dumb mistakes before his mind’s eyes. Lev knew, Yaku would look so good, whatever he might wear. He would look awesome, radiating all grace and splendor and confidence - and Lev would just be a slob, dressed improperly and without any remarkable features at all. Maybe they would talk, but - taken into consideration that they would actually talk and not stand dumbfounded beside each other - Yaku would tell him about the world, about everything in it and around it, because this is the way Lev sees him - like the one who you don't have to _tell_ something at all, because he _knows_ already. And Lev, well... what would Lev have to tell? What silly, dumb thing of his life would even be worth mentioning?

Getting to know Yaku means deepening his stupid crush even more, and he couldn’t quite assess if that would be the wisest thing to do. Weirdly enough, he felt as safe as he probably could, right across the table, with the right to watch Yaku - watch from the safe distance, and nothing more. Beginning something means continuing it, and it means for something else to end. But, did Lev want to end whatever this superficial crush was? This crush from the sidelines? Is it neccessary to always tighten each and every bond? To reach for every loose strand, hunt after every fleeting infatuation?

Right before Yaku turned around to continue eating he peeked at Lev, and for the taller one that millisecond stretched out into seconds, minutes, hours. He’s still seeing and believing the wildest things, he knew that, and Yaku’s much too intensive gaze made it even worse. He should try to not permanently over-interpret each and every motion Yaku did and concentrate back onto other things – what did he even do with his life before Yaku came in and threw every other interest out the window? What was his work like? How did he come here every day, doing every-day work with every-day people? What did he think about when his mind roamed free before? As if Yaku could read his thoughts he peeked across the table, stopping in his motion to just look, and Lev was much too far away with his thoughts to realize he was staring back like an idiot. His heart made a painful jump against his throat when he saw that tiny, astute smirk crawling over Yaku’s face before returning to staring out the window.


	13. Chapter 13

Rubbing puke from his skin was probably the worst thing he had to deal with while working at the paediatrics. Blood was a bit gross, as well as spit or excretions, but puke did something to Lev he never got quite familiar with. And small children puke _a lot_. He sighed quietly, and, knowing Fukunaga was already doing his nightly round he decided for a quick shower. There was only one tiny shower cubicle, enough for someone to get clean – not comfortable at all, but it was decent enough to just get the minimum feeling of hygiene. For sure he wouldn’t walk home while smelling like _puke_.

Lev grabbed a towel from out the storage room as well new work pants and tunic from the changing room and made his way to the shower. He hadn’t ever thought about bringing some shampoo or body wash to work and just hoped there might be some in the shower he could use. He was about to touch the door’s handle when suddenly the door opened by itself – obviously from the other side. Moist, warm air poured out of the shower before Lev could outline Yaku’s lithe figure, currently busy with towelling his short, soft-looking hair, tousled and twisted like he’d just woken up. Yaku showed a faint reddish blush from the shower’s heat, and his simple black t-shirt stuck to his still-moist skin. Lev thought he looked _adorable_.

…and, of course, Lev stared like the idiot he is, until Yaku harrumphed.

“What?”, the smaller one asked with a cocked eyebrow, stopping his motion and lowering the towel. Lev realized he’d been staring with his mouth open.

“I, uh –“ _Smooth_.

Yaku shook his head in a disparaging motion and walked past Lev, leaving him standing there, still in loss for words. When Yaku was walking past him Lev caught a whiff of something herbal - lavender? Lev wondered how much he looked like a creep, taking in Yaku’s scent that obviously. Ignoring that thought, Lev savoured the lingering scent for another moment, wondering if it was just Yaku smelling that endearing by nature or some kind of product he used. Feeling a bit too light-headed he glanced past Yaku, noticing the way his pants flattered his ass and thighs – for such a small guy he surely had some pretty defined muscles to show.

Lev choked down a painful clump of adrenaline and got into the shower room, closing the door behind himself and wondering if he just should give himself an icy cold shower instead of a warm one. He locked the door and put the towel aside, quickly shedding off his puked-on clothes, careful not to touch the icky semi-fluid texture. After stepping inside the shower he turned on the water, containing a squeal after some especially hot stream of water burned his arm. Did Yaku shower this hot?

After waiting for the water to turn into something bearable he looked around in search for some body wash or shampoo he could snatch. Just one small, lilac bottle stood at the floor, and Lev grabbed it without thinking about who it might belong to. If you’d be so stupid to leave it here it was now common property, he thought. He popped open the lid and took a whiff, almost dropping the bottle.

 _Lavender_.

He looked at the bottle, and once again took in the scent, trying to fill every nook and cranny of his respiratory tract with it. Sure, lavender wasn’t anything remotely uncommon for one to use as a scent in body wash, but Lev’s brain associated that scent immediately with Yaku, his mind clogging with pictures of the smaller one. He imagined Yaku right here where Lev himself now stood, stark naked, applying some of the body wash on his lithe but firm chest. Lev imagined his hands, soft palms and small, deft fingers, neatly trimmed nails and _his_ _skin_ , so soft, so warm and inviting… 

Imagining things like this as well as inhaling the mind-clouding scent of lavender wasn’t probably the most non-creepy thing to do. But it felt good, new, _exciting_ \- like it was something forbidden, something so entirely out of the question that his next thought felt like the dumbest decision he’d ever made during his time as a nurse-in-training. Slowly, Lev applied some of the lotion into his hand, putting aside the bottle and slid his palm lower, lower, to where his dick demanded attention since the very second he’d smelt Yaku earlier. He wondered about half a second whether that lotion would burn, but gladly, it did not. Its smooth, creamy texture made it all too easy to let his hand slide slickly over his half-hard length. Lev closed his eyes, felt the hot water trickle onto his skin, felt his hand, warm and slick against the smooth skin of his dick, and for a moment he felt blissful completion, an almost out-of-world experience where only he and this tantalizing scent were left. His brows creased when he thought about Yaku in his pants, with his thighs, his perfect little ass, and his mind created scenes that made it easy to come undone in a worryingly quick manner. True that, he was still young and virile, but the vivid imagination of Yaku touching himself at the very same place minutes ago (even if it had only been for hygiene-related reasons) made Lev’s inside’s twist and churn with want and need. He clenched his eyes together, pulling his length, ignoring the slick sounds the pattering stream of water couldn’t conceal completely, and a moment later he let his mouth hang open, shuddering out a breathless groan and spilling into his hand. He heaved, tried to gasp for air, occasionally licking beads of water from his dry lips. He choked down the burning feeling of guilt, having jerked off in the common shower every other co-worker used – this was all Yaku’s fault, anyway. Why the heck did he… well, whatever he did with Lev’s brain? Why was he walking down the hallway with this shirt and – and tight pants! He had no right to let Lev feel like a horny teenager all over again!

Lev sighed, currently ignoring the thought that he should probably check the shower for any leftover evidence of his filthy release, but in that blissful state of his he couldn’t quite care about anything. Drunken on both easement and love he wished for nothing but to return back to his flat, sprawling across the couch and sink into some dreamless, delightful sleep.

… Wait.

Love?

Where the hell did that came from?

Distracted by this new, emerging feeling he couldn’t quite classify, he put the new clothes on while balling the dirty ones into a tight ball to dispose of later. Love? How the fuck would he even remotely think of love in a state like this? Yaku was a grown man, headstrong, sometimes too eager for his own good and entirely out of Lev’s league. Hell, they hadn’t even a single private talk even thought they’d been working together for weeks. Lev almost felt like he had a crush on some unreachable celebrity – but instead, Yaku was very reachable – just not for him.

He got out of the shower, hair still damp, beads of water trickling down his shirt’s back, and his blissful state of mind popped like a balloon.

“Yaku-san?”, he choked out, the smaller one already dressed into his private clothing. Lev took in his Yaku’s choice of clothes: black shirt, wine-red jacket, black, slim jeans, and red chucks. Lev chuckled – with this attire Yaku could be mistaken for a middle schooler. “Have you forgotten something?”, Lev asked, trying to hide his still too evident amusement – not to speak of the high he’s currently coming down from.

“My body wash”, Yaku said, peeking around the shower room, “Had forgotten it, ‘cause… ah, there it is.”

Yaku grabbed the bottle – that bottle smelling like lavender – and for a moment stopped in his motions.

“Huh, I thought I closed it before”, he remarked, not even side-eying Lev who wished for someone to make him disappear on the spot. With tired but still very attentive eyes Yaku stared, for a second, two seconds, then Lev could see him whiffing like a dog being on scent, and then his face almost bled out realisation – which kind of conclusion Yaku had gotten to, Lev wouldn’t know for the life of him. Lev watched the smaller man, with his casual clothing and still damp hair, trying to see through his thick skull, sure hoping Yaku wouldn’t somehow be able to guess what Lev had been doing in the shower just moments ago. The seconds drippled by, silently, time stretching into endlessness, only Lev and Yaku and that scent of Lavender. Lev thought about saying something, about voicing his feelings at least in some kind of way – a way that would open a path to where his crush for Yaku wouldn’t end catastrophically. A way to where this would be more than just a one-sided infatuation. Somewhere deep inside, Lev knew that this was a rather useless crush, that wouldn’t get him anywhere. But still, he hoped, and that tiny little spark of hope made him feel light-headed, brave and eager to at least _try_. 

“For whom do you even wanna smell that good?”, Lev’s mouth articulated before his brain could even come behind. Curse his inability to not say a fucking dumb thing wherever’s not appropriate. Yaku side-eyed the tall figure currently leaning against a wall with his shoulder. Lev already knew, Yaku would chew him out on this intrusive remark, but, much to his surprise, Yaku’s facial features didn’t fell into his ever-so-obvious frown, but into something light, relaxed, something… playful?

“For no one in particular”, Yaku said, head cocked up to see into Lev’s eyes, taking a tiny step into his general direction. “But… I’ve got no problem with making people interested in me that weren’t, up until now.”

Some heavy bricks might have hit Lev flat into the face – at least it felt that way, when Yaku told this, without any remainders of neither annoyance nor grumpiness. Yaku turned around so he could see right into Lev’s eyes, tilting his chin up, Lev taking note of his half-opened mouth and shiny white teeth behind. A thought creeped into his mind, a thought he couldn’t shake off; he wanted to feel those lips, to lick them and push them apart with his tongue, wanted to know how these sharp teeth might sting against his own lips and tongue.

“Do you… probably like it?” Yaku asked, voice shallow and perusing, and Lev felt like watching a horror movie, waiting for the obvious jump scare. Yaku was still eyeing him, expectation lingering in his eyes, and Lev shook his head in confusion, messing up his still wet hair, probably showering both of their clothes with driblets of water.

“I – I do”, Lev choked out, wondering why every vocal exchange with Yaku was so entirely stressful. On any other occasion Lev talked, chattered, and said whatever his vocal cords could voice aloud, not entirely thinking about consequences. He was naively honest, up to a point where he thanked god for someone to stop him. He never wants to hurt somebody with anything he says, but sometimes he’s not fucking able to keep his excitement, rage or agitation at bay. Currently, while being watched like this by Yaku his brain felt like a wrung-out sponge, a thousand thoughts trying to come out but get stuck against each other. He was so much paralyzed with what Yaku had said that he almost missed the way the smaller one had approached him even more. Lev’s legs shuddered, currently mid-way freaking-out, his brain feeling like filled with milk, or goo, and a smirk from Yaku nearly snapped his constraint. The smaller one still scooted closer, closer, peeking around once in search for any unwanted bystanders, and Lev’s backside thudded against a wall with a bushy plant to his left and a supply cart on the other side.

 _Trapped_.

And Yaku still showed that ludic, evaluating smile of his, like the cat that caught the canary. He got so close, Lev could once again smell the lavender and, somewhere below, Yaku’s very own scent, something a bit musky but not oppressive, and something sweet, like vanilla, but faint…

Lev knew he should try to not phase out like this in such a situation, because Yaku came as close as possible for them without touching each other, and Lev could feel the smaller one’s breath against his shirt and collar – for which Yaku had to tiptoe, but Lev could work with that, could so work with that for today without a snide commentary.

“What… exactly did you like, Lev-kun? Why did you like me smelling good?”

Lev knew about a thousand answers to this, but couldn’t utter just one, each of them being just too honest or entirely too filthy for their kind of superficial relationship.

“I... just thought it suits you”, Lev choked out, his voice thick and his mouth dry, as if he’d just recently crawled through the dessert. “Smelling good suits you, I mean… it – fits! It fits you, Yaku-san, ‘cause you’re…”

He hesitated, taking in the way Yaku’s brown eyes taxed him, seized him up, waiting patiently for an answer with just the faintest indication of a smirk on his lips. What the hell was Yaku waiting for? Which answer would be the right one? Which answer would benefit Lev’s acrid crush the most?

“… because you’re a good superior, I guess.”

That didn’t even made sense, and Lev knew. He was in absolute loss for words, shutting his mouth as if that sentence had been the last he’d ever utter. Maybe it was indeed, because he currently wanted to crawl under a stone an die of shame. He took note of the way Yaku’s gaze flipped back and forth between Lev’s eyes and lips, and slowly, the smaller one got flat onto his feet again, smirking.

“Good to know”, he said before departing, grinning like the winner of a crooked game Lev didn’t know he’d been a contestant in.


	14. Chapter 14

“Goood, kid, just make a move already.”

Kuroo’s guileless groaning echoed through the dimly lit room, even drowning out the music for a moment. He glanced at Lev through clenched eyes in both annoyance and intoxication while Lev watched the leftover drop of martini pooling at the bottom of his glass, faintly processing Kuroo’s much too loud outcry. Sure, he knew all too well that he probably should take thoughts into action, but his doubts overdyed his hopes every time he weighted his odds. One could take last week’s incident in front of the shower as some weird kind of flirting, but Lev wouldn’t want to maybe blow his only chance with Yaku just by betting on speculations. He almost felt like having an identity crisis since Yaku came into his life; Lev wasn’t one for laying low, for keeping his mouth shut and thoughts for himself, but… just being in the presence of Yaku made something inside Lev much too aware of his own vulnerability, his inadequacies and flaws. He felt as if he could just say one word, and Yaku would come, grip straight into his brain and wrangle the most hidden, deepest and saddest insecurity out of him without even blinking. Lev felt so, _so_ small around Yaku, and that meant a lot. How would he ever stand his ground against someone so mentally capable as Yaku? How could he even think about telling him about his stupid crush? Asking Yaku out was so much off the table, he couldn’t even think about it without blushing vividly.

“I tried”, Lev choked out eventually, upending the glass and letting the last drops of sweetish liquid pour down his throat. “And don’t call me kid, you’re just two years older.”

“He’s right, you should just go for it. You sure are a slow starter.” Kenma’s proposition as well as the blandness in his voice made Lev frown. Even Kenma – the world’s laziest ass – said he should make a move; just how much of a fraidy cat did Lev become?

Kenma, currently looking at his still full tequila shot as if it had personally offended him made Lev forget his personal dilemma for a moment. Kenma seemed so entirely out of place that Lev wondered how Kuroo had managed to pursue Kenma of all people to a night out drinking.

The dingy club named Dandelion was close to each of their homes, and as always on a Monday night a lot of students still poured in, even at one o’clock in the morning. Lev knew he eventually had to work late shift tomorrow, but for now he couldn’t care less; his whirling thoughts and odd insecurities obviously made him even dumber, and apparently naively foolish, believing he could work off a hangover up until two in the evening.

… As if anyone would take any interest in a student nurse not performing at his peak – well, except Yaku, perhaps.

“Don’t mock me”, Lev whined, scowling like a kid, considering another tequila shot. “I’m trying my best.”

“Obviously not, because then you wouldn’t chew our ears off like this”, Kuroo said, ordering another round of shots with one wave of his hand after chugging down Kenma’s drink. “I mean, what’s the worst that could happen? A rejection?”

“I don’t want him to reject me”, Lev muttered, the growing intoxication slowly but surely weighting his tongue down. “I want him to like me, too.”

“But you won’t get that as long as you’re just mopin’ around”, Kuroo closed. “Maybe he’s already falling for you – come on, that flirting last week, you’ve already forgotten that? What signs are you waitin’ for?”

“…He wasn’t flirting.”

“Damn sure he was”, Kuroo contradicted, taking their drinks from the cute waitress, winking at her in a way that made Kenma roll his eyeballs. Lev wondered how the boys thought about him, now that he had a crush on the very same guy he was beefing about just a few weeks ago. Kuroo was about to say something when he nudged Kenma, nodding towards the entrance.

“Look which birdie just flew in”, Kuroo purred, showing a crooked grin. Lev leaned forward, trying to recognise the two men who just entered the bar, and somewhere in the back of his head a faint remembrance formed.

“Ah, you”, the taller one – a blond with glasses and an indifferent look – remarked flatly when he recognised Kuroo, giving a faint nod towards Kenma who seemed to know both of them, too. Lev took note of the blond’s voice, which sounded somehow familiar. 

“What’s someone like you doing here, pretty glasses-kun?”, Kuroo said with a grin, and the tall blond rolled his eyes.

“Not looking for company”, he said briefly, walking past them without giving Kuroo another chance to respond. Kuroo watched him in agitation, like a predator who had just found the most delicious prey. 

“You sure about that?”, Kuroo murmured to himself, eyeing the blond when he sat down at the bar with his friend in tow.

“Who’s that?”, Lev asked, his brain still searching for the connection.

“One of the dispatchers”, Kenma answered for Kuroo who wasn’t really taking part in their conversation any longer. “Tsukishima’s his name, I believe. They got to know each other while Kuroo worked in the ER –“

“That’s where I knew his voice from!”, Lev butted in and Kenma pulled a pout. “Sorry.”

“Kuroo always hoarded the ER’s telephones so he could annoy him twenty-four-seven”, Kenma explained, experimentally licking his new tequila shot, frowning in disgust afterwards. He swapped glasses with Kuroo quickly, who was about to stand up.

“What’re you doin’?”, Lev asked, and Kuroo gave him a brief look, grinning widely.

“Unlike you, I’m going to make a move”, he said and meandered towards Tsukishima and his friend, squeezing in between them with that stupid, winning smile of his, instantly flirting without an inch of shame.

“He’s pinning for him since months”, Kenma remarked, shoving his tequila towards Lev who took the small glass, looking at it like it would help him decide in terms of his own dumb crush.

“How’s he even able to behave like that without even blushing?”, Lev asked, watching shameless Kuroo ordering drinks for them while Tsukishima did his best to ignore him.

“He’s just not afraid of consequences, I guess”, Kenma said, shrugging his shoulders. “And you shouldn’t, too. Yaku’s human, like everyone else, and you won’t get fired just for asking him out.”

“Kenma-san, it’s not that easy –“

“It is”, Kenma said matter-of-factly, and fuck it, Lev knew he was right – of course he was. Then, what the heck was Lev so afraid for? The rejection by itself? No, Lev could live with a mere rejection – he got his fair share of rejections by now and could work with that, as hard as it might be.

But, as long as he wouldn’t ask, Yaku wouldn’t say no. And Lev rather lived in a universe where being with Yaku would at least be a _possible_ outcome instead of a world where that would be completely off the table. But he knew, pinning after Yaku wouldn’t work for much longer – he needed to know where he stood with Yaku.

“Just tell him”, Kenma said with a consolidating smile. Lev was surprised: Kenma nearly never smiled, and for sure not in consolidation. A moment of hesitation and one tequila shot later, Lev nodded.

“Tomorrow”, he said, “tomorrow I’m gonna tell him.”


	15. Chapter 15

The next dawn came and went, and with it a quite hungover Lev, standing on wobbly feet while his stomach currently tried to digest itself. Half the time he felt like puking, half the time like sleeping, and that teeny little bit in between those thoughts about collapsing and vomiting he thought about his endeavour of confessing to Yaku. He would go for broke, for sure. He so wanted for this weird feeling in his guts to end, to finally get rid of that lingering fear of rejection; he was in dire need of an answer, this way or the other.

During his afternoon break he searched the hallways for Yaku, heart jumping aggressively in his chest, legs wobbly and breath faltering. The moment he found Yaku standing near the ward’s entrance Lev’s breath was gone for good. Each and every cell of his skin prickled, his throat dried instantly, and he felt as if he might faint every second now.

“Yaku-san!” Lev almost shouted and Yaku jerked in surprise. Then it dawned Lev: he didn’t even know what to say to him. All the bravery he’d mustered up was for naught, realizing he hadn’t thought a single bit about what he would have to say once he’d caught Yaku’s attention. Did he want to ask him for a date? A coffee? What the heck was he thinking? Thankfully no one else was around, and Lev took a few steps towards Yaku, who was still standing next to the entrance and giving the tall nurse-in-training a puzzled look.

“What –“, Yaku began, when suddenly the door was opened and a woman stepped into the hallway, holding a child’s hand. Lev was tensed to the nines and still standing there with words lingering on his tongue that would the fuck not come, and watched the woman recognizing Yaku immediately.

“Morisuke!”, she addressed him happily, hugging him tightly. Lev’s body inflated almost instantly, like a balloon getting popped.

“I was waiting for you”, Yaku said with a much too friendly undertone, and the woman smiled broadly at him. Each and every leftover drop of air left Lev’s body when he saw Yaku giving the woman’s cheek a tender kiss, afterwards lifting the child up with a happy face Lev had never seen before.

“I’m sorry, Mori”, she said, reaching out for the hand that wasn’t holding the child while Yaku kissed the child’s forehead. “I couldn’t find Sota’s vaccination record and we missed the train.”

“No worries”, Yaku said, smiling gently at the pouting child. “I made sure Sota gets the most comfortable bed we have – perk of being the boss, you know.”

The woman smiled happily at Yaku, and for a moment the couple stood silent. Then the woman peeked around briefly, realizing they’d been watched by Lev who still stood in the middle of the hallway like all dressed up and nowhere to go.

“Why… is that boy looking at us?”, the woman murmured loud enough for Lev to hear. Yaku frowned slightly, grinding his teeth before answering.

“You need something?”, Yaku addresses Lev, and finally he fell out of his immobility. He realized his mouth had stood open for the last minutes and he closed it immediately, not even remotely knowing how to talk his way out of this. Once again he made a motion as if to say something, but another look at both the woman and the child – the latter currently cuddling against Yaku – made his brain back-pedal once again.

“Nothing”, he choked out flatly, knowing Yaku wouldn’t hear him, and turned around on the spot, leaving the couple’s vicinity with quick, long steps. He beelined to the nurse’s break room, which was thankfully empty – and then he collapsed backwards against the wall.

What the _fuck_ did he think?

He banged his head against the wall, hurting the back of his head voluntarily, knowing it might need quite a lot of pain to get him out of this hazy state. He felt his heart beating like a jackhammer, his hands were sweating, and his mouth was dry as hell. His breathing came fast, faster than he’d taken notice of standing in the hallway, but now with only his body left to concentrate onto he felt all of it at once.

He never took into consideration that, even if he had a crush on Yaku the other one would probably not have the same kinds of feelings – not to speak of general sexual preferences. The way that kid cuddled against his chest, the way he and the woman interacted – tenderly, familiar, intimate almost, left no room for speculation. Lev could kick himself for his stupid infatuation, and his much too fast assumption, that, because of him liking Yaku the other one would return that feeling, for sure.

Lev tried to still his breathing, tried not to flinch every time someone’s footsteps could be heard from the hallway, and it needed a whole twenty minutes for him to come down from his almost panic-like state of mind. Why the heck was he even feeling like breaking apart anyways? He should just forget about this stupid, useless crush and move on, like he’d always done when a task felt too difficult to handle. It’s not like the world stood or fell with Yaku, isn’t it?

Looking at the clock Lev realized that there wouldn’t be any chance of going home for another four hours. He collected his breath, tried to still his fluttering heart and left the break room, hoping he wouldn’t come across neither Yaku nor the woman or the child for a while. He knew they would be _somewhere_ out there in the hallway, in the office or in one of the patient’s rooms, but for the remaining hours Lev tried to work as far away as possible from any place where he would meet one of them. The last thing his confused mind seemed to grasp before searching for some dull work to waste time with was the name ‘Yaku, Sota’ written on the white board, assigned to bed two-one. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've got an important test next week, so I'm not quite sure about my update schedule - but here, have yourselves a cliffhanger ♡ ～（ゝ。∂）


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